The Gooberville Ballroom Dancer

He was a filthy motherfucker by the name of Dwight
He only bathed?bout once a year, he didn't smell alright
His father was a drunken bastard, couldn't do things right
His mother died while she was giving birth, when she saw her Dwight

He had the great ambition to be one who girls would adore
And if he could have the chance to flourish in a wild romance...

...He could be a fraud or a fake just like those guys on TV

Dwight thought about it for a while and then it occurred to him, all he had to do to be popular in Gooberville, the
place where he lived, was to come up with something he was really good at. The problem was that the only thing he'd
ever been remotely interested by in his youth was ballroom dancing, and that ain't too cool. But if I could find a way,
he thought, to combine the ballroom dancing with the fearsome attitude of more present day youth activities...

...I could be the king of a generation lost in a daze
Salsa, cha-cha, pasodoble blended in the hardcore pace

He could dance it all – he would never fall
Women by his side – rhymin', going wild
HE WOULD TAKE 'EM ALL

He took all the money he had saved, sold his comic books too
Bought a baby-blue custom-made gabardine-suite with "matching" turkoise dancing-shoes
He took a shower at least once a week, and now he smelled awright
His mother really would be proud of him, if she could see her Dwight

Then it was time to show Gooberville what talent Dwight had concealed
Who would have thought that smelly brat could pull off such sex appeal

He was now the king of the floor and no one could match his moves (O-oh shug-a-lug)
All except the lovely Eve, dressed in silk with natural gloom (O-oh shug-a-lug)

They pulled off a stunt – sliding?cross the floor
He could feel her breasts & her eyes wanted more
HE WOULD TAKE HER HOME... And then slide her knickers down...

Who would have thought that such a man could do such a thing?
"What is it, afrodisiak or something?"
Who would have thought that women lined up by his door to ask him out to the dance floor?
"Would you go with me to the dance this Friday?" "Nah, maybe next week, alright sweetie!"

THE SEXUAL EXPERTS UNIFIED OPINION:
It is now established that the reason Dwight has luck with ladies is clam-extract vaporizing from his greasy hair! And
all the professors say;
"This is a damn miracle we must take him in here and run some tests!"

DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE A FRAUD JUST LIKE THOSE GUYS WHO'RE UPTIGHT
YOU COULD BE A JERK OR A NERD JUST LIKE THAT GOOBERVILLE-DWIGHT
AND HE'S ALRIGHT, YES HE IS!

He was a filthy motherfucker by the name of Dwight
He was a filthy motherfucker, now he is alright